Oh W A (e) I (gh)T ! That’s me you’re talking about!

Having felt a little (oh no terribly) guilty after I indulged in a Mozzarella grill, signs that my body could no longer take days of shoving ‘healthy’ food down its throat and into its gut, I decided to rethink my moment of weakness and take a step-by-step approach as to why I was self-sabotaging my weight loss plan. The funny part is, I relished every moment I ate that indescribably yummy sandwich! I was worried not because I’d have gained a couple of grams tomorrow when I weigh myself. I was instantaneously afraid of what other people would say!

It’s just that the world looks at you so differently, so harshly when you’re fat. It’s somehow everybody’s (or the ‘fat police’ as I’d like to call them) moral responsibility, to come and tell you how fat you are, how that dress would have fit you so much better if you were thin, how they heard of the latest form of slavery exercise and would gladly push the brochure down your bag. ‘Oh have you tried this yet?’ ‘Oh did you know which store sells extra plus size clothes? They seem to have a good collection’ Like fat people aren’t supposed to have a refined taste! The looks people give you when you carry your food to your table (Sigh! no wonder you’re fat), however little that may be because of the 236th diet you’re on.

You don’t get to pick out clothes you like (even if they’re target clothes to which you’d want to fit into). If there is somebody I want to lash out against, it would definitely be the helpers at your favourite (not anymore) clothes store. They have taken up the burden of shepherding you to the right size and should you want to be ambitious, you’re met with the most scornful and flat-voiced ‘That won’t fit you, madam’ which instantly triggers that self-respect button inside you and give her the haughty ‘I-know-just-chill-out-and-go-help-that-skinny-anaemic-chica-there’ and swear never to return to the store again until you’ve lost the number of pounds you wanted to. It’s not about thin or fat anymore. The world goes by a new equation. Thin= confident, high moral attitude, complete control on the self, suave, sexy. Fat= You’re a lost cause.

Sure, having excess fat takes a toll on your health in the long run, but a good portion of the ‘fat’ people are healthy! It may be hard to believe. I know skinny women who are extremely attractive and face a myriad of health issues and overweight women who are in the pink of their health. It’s a process, it takes time. Sometimes, we have broad shoulders like a rugby player for no fault of ours. Sometime, possibly owing to our cultural factors, a wider hip or waist is common, but oh no! You’ll be slapped with bland puke-able green juice and your lunch will be just one stick of celery. It’s funny to watch the Kelloggs Special K advertisement that Deepika Padukone endorses. What are we supposed to get from that? That even the petite babe Deepika has ‘fat’ deposits? Or do they mean that The K works only on those who look like that? Why does only thin sell? Why doesn’t fat sell? Oh and since when don’t sarees ‘fit’? If you were to look at my face now, it has a concoction of the following expressions: indifference, anger rush and betrayal.

Pick up any famous book, watch any famous sitcom or a celebrated movie. Tell me how many women characters who are fat (or even just moderately overweight) are glorified or portrayed in a likeable manner. Take for example, Howard’s mother from the Big Bang Theory. Does she deserve that kind of hate-from-the-heart from her son just because of extra pounds? I’ve seen Raj crib about his battles with weight loss and that his favourite movie is Bridget Jones’s diary. Honestly, I have seen people on the heavier side than Renee Zellweger who have a more satisfying and fulfilled life. If she was that fat in the first place, she wouldn’t have had two men towing behind her. I remember Monica’s (from F.R.I.E.N.D.S) fat days. How she broke the porch swing, how she had 7 easy bake ovens, how she ate the macaroni off a box she made. Fat jokes, fat jokes, slap, slap, slap! Just because someone is thin, doesn’t mean they go around imparting ‘health wisdom’ to people who are not in the same zone as they are. The famed ‘a minute on the lips forever in the hips’ has to be voted the world’s most unhealthy saying (pun intended)!

Curvy women are the in-thing, people. Soon enough Julia Roberts will get sick of eating just a grape a day, Christian bale will get tired of just drinking water for an extended period of time with no avenues for solid food. I’m saying, people are thin and people are fat at various stages in their lives. The thin me can’t judge the fat me. It’s all me! I could go for a bootcamp, I could go for a 5k run, or I could just down a pizza in an absolutely unadulterated moment of food-pining (not craving, mind you). It all won’t matter. Go ahead, lose those excess pounds if you want to, but for the health benefits, and not because some snobby snot gives you a disdainful look. It’s you that matters that most! After all, to quote Metallica, “Nothing else matters”!


28 thoughts on “Oh W A (e) I (gh)T ! That’s me you’re talking about!

  1. I’m sorry you feel like this. I know what it’s like to be overweight. I too have had periods of being overweight, but then I realized there are many women who are curvy and proud. Like the fabulous gal on the TV show in America My Big Fat Fabulous Life. She has a health condition that is not her fault and she is beautiful. Plus, I saw a belly dance video that said belly dancing is much more sensual when a woman has a belly. In the end beauty is on the inside. The clothing stores are ridiculous. They changed all the sizes smaller. I’m 52, and a size 8 use to be a real 8. Now they have xxl and all that labeling that is wrong. Women are subject to such oppression when it comes to clothing stores. They make funky clothes for waifs who don’t eat anything or have genes that are prone to being small. I commend you for this and it makes me frustrated. Why don’t they make beautiful clothes for fabulous women? And surely there are many many men that prefer curves. It’s the media. It’s the ignorant. I’m sure you are beautiful and I can see it through your writing. If you do want to lose weight, my suggestion is to cut as much sugar out, but in the end, whenever I have lost weight, I wasn’t trying at all. Diets are a joke. Just be you. Love yourself and frak those people who are rude. They may be skinny and work in a fancy dress shop, but they are probably miserable because they can treat others this way. Someone somewhere will start making clothes for real women and make a killing. I find dancing to my favorite music my passion. If weight comes off great…nowadays, i think it’s more important we feel peaceful with our insides, rather than the worlds silly view of what is beauty. Hundreds of years ago, skinny girls looked sick. so, it’s all relative. Remember, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. xo

    1. That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day 🙂 Thank you for your amazing words; means a lot to me 🙂 Your words instil a certain confidence and renew a joy in me. It’s true that a diet silently implies ‘die-yet’ and yo-yo dieting is no good. The funny part is I’ve been both fat and thin and the same people have treated me so differently. I was given to understand that a lot of my lady friends were slapped with a similar kind of humiliation. I was echoing their emotions as well. Thank you so much again for taking the time to read and comment, Deb 🙂

  2. All my life I was skinny, until I got married. Then I had to compulsorily eat at the right time, no skipping meals or breakfast or tea etc. And I remembered how I had been ridiculed always as a puny, lanky beanpole. Ok, they did not kick sand in my face and Atlas did not tell me to fix up my muscles, but I did grow quite bulky over the years 😀 And I loved it.. My wife used to criticise me, but I used to tell her fat men are jolly and she used to roll her eyes – you??
    Also, fewer arguments when I get angry haha.. so I did not mind at all.. until my back broke one day.. quite literally. Then as a semi-invalid I lost considerable weight and shrunk down. Not too much. I love my size 🙂 Of course, none of the things that I used to do earlier are possible now, but even otherwise it would be difficult given my condition. So nothing much lost. (Oh, except, heads used to turn earlier. Now when I am in a mall or public place, no one looks at me.. gosh.. 😦 It is rather depressing. But never mind. At my age, I can possibly only see and not touch… haha.. and it is a good thing, in a way, that I am not seen seeing.. arrghh… now that makes me sound almost suspiciously sleazy.. sacred, I assure you.. never mind.. But hey, younger boys still envy my black hair, which at this age is a minor miracle. So small favours yet)..

    1. Sorry about your back but hey I think we’re awesome no matter what! I made my best friends who accepted me while I looked like a hot-air balloon 😀 Hahahhahaha. I completely understand what you feel, though I was never skinny as a kid. 😛 I loved food and it loved me oodles back which is why it stuck with me 😛 Then just as anybody’s weight loss journey goes, one fine day I saw myself and saw a zillion pizzas, rice, brownies (still my fooding weakness), cheese and i resembled a boar. After which I thought enough was enough. I was pretty active at PE while in school and would have done better if I’d actually continued to get myself back to it. But being a couch potato seemed befitting to my persona. Lol. So I met a dietician who changed me and turned me unrecognisable and I finally entered the world where people ogled at me and not the one where I was just the ogler. This time I was the oglee 😛 It felt pretty good but then my exams caught up with me smearing me with a “Yea? You really think you’ll still be thin all your life?” And then it happened. Two years of hardwork buried by layers of fat all over again. Lol. And the cycle goes on. Bootcamp, running (with my inhaler), ‘diets’ or ‘eating right’ and power yoga seasoned with grumbling and being such a depressed maniac 😛 So much for a few random people’s compliments. Lol. You know the funny thing? I imagined you as a girl in her mid-20s. Haha don’t ask why. I just thought that in a cool way! Now it sounds way cooler 😀

      1. Oh, you oglee woman… you have deflated me completely. Some other north Indian girl thought I was a girl too 😦
        What does it take for me to appear to be what I really am – A male human animal? The name throws people off, is it?

        Hey, I am too clever to ogle. I put on that disinterested air and look around like I am not bothered at all. I don’t even look at them.. Too bad, that used to work in the college days, does not work now 😦 It used to bring about an arrogant, superior air earlier, now it looks like some plodding old fool who is wondering where he is and what he is doing there 😦

      2. Haha yeah the name sure throws the ‘air’ around you off 😛 It’s interesting. You know, your tag could be something like ‘Tag him’ and not ‘Tag he(u)r’ 😛 It’s official. I’m nuts 😀

      3. 😦 It says tag her?? gosh.. how?

        Hey, not nuts.. just in the right place 😀 My poor wife and friends have taken enough of similar puns/word games for a lifetime now. (In fact, oh, there is a colleague of Dad’s in Kinnatha Kadavu – I guess Pollachi/Kovai cusp area.. who does the same thing and I guess my dad would have loved to strangle him too.. But then he laughs at his own jokes when everyone else is just staring at him.. so I am slightly better.. )

        Thank god, we belong to the Asura clan 🙂 ..er Who Scares, Wins!!
        More of it please.. I love it.. not usual for me to find people who have that quirky humour that I used to take for granted in the old days.. and rarely find these days..

      4. I know! My household is immune to my puns these days and sometimes they keep track of whether I’ve repeated any 😛 I laugh at my own jokes too in private. I’m like Chandler that way and people say “I never get her jokes” and they say 7th grade rebus puzzles were way more decipherable 😛 So finally I found someone who understands 😀

      5. Oh yes, very true.. glad we met..

        I have to stop myself from repeating jokes I crack and my wife looks at me blankly.. don’t you just hate it when you have to break it apart and explain it? So, these days, I just mumble, Nothin’ nothin’, was just thinking aloud…

        Sadly, most of my friends used to say the same thing. Sometimes dad used to get them.. but now he is pretty much deaf and senile and it is no fun shouting out a joke half a dozen times until he takes pity on me and lets out a half-hearted laugh as if he has heard it or understood it. Bah!!!

      6. Hahahaha! I’m able to empathise with your wife 🙂 I’m all too familiar with the nothing nothing 😀 So I’m able to empathise with you as well 😛 I also think my crazy characteristics have rubbed off on my friends. Now they crack jokes that I don’t get and I go like hey don’t steal my thunder. Cracking lame puns is my thing 😛

      7. Hahaha… and they don’t even do it well.. sadly..

        My comments are usually cryptic sounding unless they know me really well.. and the downside is, even when I am being earnest and straight, they look at me suspiciously as if I am mocking them somehow..

  3. I can relate with this very well… i am also under the constant scanner of people’s scrutinizing gaze because of not being slim… every time i go somewhere all are ready with remedies do this do that !!!
    It’s annoying but what matters is loving yourself and keeping the self esteem intact…
    I love this blog !! 🙂

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